Kikko the Frog

This is the first story of my novel On Ducks and Frogs. A nostalgic writing from back in the 80s/ 90s, a bit polished up, it's about a good natured well-meaning frog god named Kikko...

In the highest, fluffiest clouds of heaven sat Kikko, a plump, emerald-green frog with a golden crown perched slightly askew on his head. He lounged on a throne carved from cloud-stuff, gazing over his tiny heavenly kingdom. Beside him, as always, were his trusted advisors: Haggis, the intelligent lizard with an air of deep contemplation, and Sallam, the... less intelligent lizard who often wore a confused expression. Then there was Croco, the god of crocodiles—huge, toothy, and eternally hungry. Croco’s belly rumbled loudly, as it often did.

"Ah, another perfect day in my divine realm," Kikko croaked proudly. "Do you know, it reminds me of the time I created the world. Ah, those were the days. I remember it clearly—"

Kikko continued, "So on the first day, I created..."

Sallam’s eyes glazed over instantly. Haggis, however, was quick to act, nudging Sallam and whispering, "Quick, say something so we can get out of this."

"Uh, yes, Lord Kikko," Sallam stammered, snapping back to attention. "That sounds fascinating, but—uh—I just remembered! I, uh, need to... polish my scales. Very important business."

"Yes, yes, me too!" Haggis chimed in, tapping his own scaly head. "I’ve got some... thinking to do. Really deep, important thoughts. You know how it is."

Kikko narrowed his big, bulging eyes at his advisors. He was no fool, but before he could say anything, Croco interrupted with a booming, "I’m hungry. Can we eat yet?" His massive tail swayed behind him, nearly knocking Sallam off his feet.

Kikko sighed, adjusting his crown. "Nobody appreciates me up here. I think it's time I go down to Earth. I should check on my subjects. See how they worship me."

"Yes, excellent idea," Haggis said with a sly smile. "I’m sure they’ll be... thrilled to see you."

A Little While Later on Earth...

Kikko descended from the clouds, floating down majestically to his domain: two tiny, unknown islands in the middle of the ocean. The frogs on these islands were humble farmers, toiling away in the fields when Kikko made his grand entrance.

"Behold! Your god has arrived!" Kikko announced, arms wide, expecting cheers and adoration.

Instead, the frogs stared at him. One frog, a grizzled old farmer, scratched his chin and muttered, "Isn’t that the guy who made it rain that weird acidic stuff last week?"

"Yeah!" another frog piped up. "My carrots withered after that storm!"

Kikko puffed out his chest, trying to maintain his divine dignity. "Ah, yes... well, you see, that rain was actually a little bit of—"

One of the younger frogs interrupted, picking up a rock. "Wait, was that your spit? You spit on us?!"

Kikko blinked, sensing the mood turning. "Now, now, let’s not be hasty. It’s... divine spit. Very holy. Good for the soil, in moderation."

"Oh yeah?" the frog said, brandishing the rock. "Let’s see how you like a taste of our 'divine' stones!"

In an instant, the frogs were chasing Kikko, throwing pebbles and shouting angrily. The mighty god of a minuscule domain sprinted through the fields, hopping desperately to avoid the barrage of stones.

"It's hard to be a good god!" Kikko croaked, leaping over a cabbage patch as rocks flew past him. "Nobody warned me it would be this hard!"

He managed to escape, panting heavily, his crown slightly crooked. As he retreated into the woods, he sighed, casting a look back at the chaos.

"Why don’t they appreciate me?" he muttered, shaking his head. "I give them rain! I visit from heaven! And yet... all I get are stones. Maybe I should’ve stuck to ruling from above."

Back in heaven, Haggis and Sallam were watching the whole scene from a cloud.

"Well, that went about as well as expected," Haggis said dryly.

"Do you think we should’ve warned him?" Sallam asked, scratching his head.

"Nah," Haggis smirked. "He’ll figure it out eventually."

Kikko sat beneath a broad-leafed tree, sulking and rubbing his sore back where a particularly sharp pebble had struck him. "Ungrateful frogs... I give them life, rain, existence, and they pelt me with stones. It’s truly hard to be a god." He glanced upward, half-expecting a chorus of heavenly angels to agree, but only a lone bird squawked and flew away.

Suddenly, a loud rumble echoed through the forest. Kikko froze, his large froggy eyes widening. "Please don't let that be Croco," he muttered. But the rumble came again, and soon a familiar, towering figure emerged from the bushes. It was Croco, the god of crocodiles, waddling towards him with his massive jaws slightly open.

"There you are!" Croco bellowed. "I’m starving! Are there any frogs to eat down here?"

Kikko groaned, massaging his temples. "Croco, please. I just barely escaped with my life. The frogs don’t exactly see me as a benevolent god right now. And no, you cannot eat them!"

Croco plopped down beside Kikko, his weight causing the ground to shake. "Why not? They’re your subjects, aren’t they? A couple of frogs here and there won’t hurt."

Kikko shot him a look. "That’s exactly why they threw rocks at me! I’ve been spitting on their crops and ruining their harvests, and now you want to eat them? Do you have any idea how bad that would look? I'm trying to build goodwill here, not turn my subjects into snacks!"

Croco scratched his scaly chin, clearly not understanding the complexities of godhood. "But I’m really hungry..."

"You're always hungry!" Kikko snapped, feeling his patience wear thin. "Why don’t you go back to heaven and have Haggis whip up some clouds for you to chew on?"

Croco huffed. "Clouds don’t fill me up."

"Well, I’m out of ideas!" Kikko threw his hands in the air. "Maybe I should just abdicate. Let someone else deal with these ungrateful frogs!"

Just as Kikko was about to further lament his fate, a rustling sound caught his attention. Out of the bushes emerged a group of frogs—these ones younger and smaller than the ones from the village. They gazed up at Kikko with wide, curious eyes.

"Hey, it’s the big frog from the sky!" one of them croaked. "Are you really a god?"

Kikko straightened up immediately, smoothing out his royal cape. "Well, yes, yes I am! I am Kikko, your divine ruler and the creator of the heavens and Earth!" He struck a dramatic pose, hoping to regain some dignity.

"Cool!" one of the young frogs said, hopping closer. "Can you do any tricks?"

"Tricks?" Kikko blinked. "I... well, I can... make it rain! Yes! Witness my power!" He cleared his throat and, with a determined look, spat a small blob of saliva into the air.

Dark clouds immediately began to gather overhead, and a light drizzle fell upon the forest. The young frogs cheered, hopping in delight under the rain, completely oblivious to the acidic nature of Kikko's spit.

"This is awesome!" one of the frogs shouted. "We love rain!"

Kikko couldn’t help but smile. Finally, some appreciation! "Yes, yes, bask in the glory of your god’s blessings!" He puffed out his chest, clearly enjoying the moment.

But then, just as things were looking up, Croco let out a deafening roar. "RAIN?! I can't eat rain!" He flopped onto the ground, his tail swishing back and forth, throwing a small tantrum.

The young frogs stared up at Croco in awe and fear. "Who's that?!" one of them squeaked.

"That," Kikko said, with an exasperated sigh, "is Croco. The god of crocodiles and, apparently, my eternal headache."

"Can he do any tricks?" one of the frogs asked innocently.

Kikko chuckled darkly. "Oh, you don’t want to see his tricks."

One of the bravest young frogs hopped right up to Croco. "Hey, Mister Crocodile God, can you show us your trick?"

Croco blinked his large, reptilian eyes and leaned in, his jaws creaking open just slightly. "Well... I can show you how I eat frogs in one gulp!" he said, baring his teeth.

The young frogs scattered immediately, their cheerful croaks turning into panicked squeals. Kikko sighed deeply, rubbing his temples again.

"Croco, please! You can't go around scaring my worshippers. It’s bad for business."

Croco tilted his head, confused. "But you said they were ungrateful. I thought I was helping."

Kikko shot him a glare. "There’s a difference between discipline and devouring, Croco."

Just then, Haggis and Sallam appeared, descending from the clouds. Haggis, with his usual smug look, approached the still-drizzling Kikko.

"Well, well, well," Haggis said, surveying the scene. "Looks like your little vacation to Earth is going just swimmingly, Lord Kikko."

"Don’t start," Kikko grumbled, crossing his arms.

"We came to check on you, to see if you'd need help reigning over your 'vast domain,'" Haggis continued, his tone dripping with sarcasm. Sallam, as usual, just blinked and smiled, oblivious to any deeper meaning.

Kikko shot him a look, his pride bruised. "It’s hard to rule over anything when your subjects either pelt you with rocks or flee in terror."

"Well," Haggis mused, "perhaps next time, don’t spit on their crops. Might improve relations."

Kikko sighed deeply, feeling utterly defeated. "I just wanted to be a good god..."

Sallam, in a rare moment of clarity, piped up. "Maybe... maybe being a good god isn’t about raining on their parade. Maybe it’s about, I dunno... listening to them? Talking to them? Like... without the spitting part."

Kikko paused, staring at Sallam in surprise. "Sallam... that was actually a good idea."

Sallam grinned proudly. "Really? Thanks, Lord Kikko!"

"Don’t get used to it," Haggis muttered.

Kikko shook his head, a small smile creeping onto his face. "Maybe you’re right, Sallam. Maybe it's time I tried a different approach." He stood up, dusting off his royal cloak. "Next time, I’ll talk to the frogs—no spitting, no tricks. Just... honest conversation."

Croco groaned loudly. "Ugh. Does this mean no more frogs for dinner?"

"Yes, Croco," Kikko sighed. "No more frogs for dinner."

As the group ascended back to heaven, Kikko couldn't help but feel a little more hopeful. Maybe, just maybe, being a god wasn’t about showing off powers or demanding praise. Maybe it was about being a little more... relatable.

And for the first time in a long while, Kikko thought that maybe, someday, the frogs would see him as more than just a distant figure who spit from the sky.

But as the clouds parted to reveal the heavenly palace, Croco's stomach let out another thunderous growl.

Kikko sighed. "Then again, maybe not."